Crossover Hell
by Hazama Itsuru
Summary: The madness begins as the Z Fighters are tossed through space and time onto the world of Final Fantasy VII, otherwise known as Gaea.


**CROSSOVER HELL - CHAPTER 1 - DAY OF THE Z**

Deep in space, a spacecraft bearing the name Capsule Corp hurtles through space.

**Goku:** So where are we going again?

**Vegeta:** Don't you ever listen, Kakaroto!

**Trunks:** Mother received a coded transmission from a distant galaxy. Whoever it is threatened to destroy Earth within days. For no reason!

**Goku:** Oh yeah, that guy. What's his problem?

Suddenly, a wormhole shreds open close by the ship and begins to draw it in.

**Krillin:** Uh oh. Do you see what I see?

**Vegeta:** Damnable woman! I thought she programmed this scrap to avoid things like this!

Everyone screams as they're sucked into the wormhole. From within, two Orbital Frames emerge.

**Orbital Frame #2:** Well, shit.

**Orbital Frame #1:** ...

**Orbital Frame #2:** Fanfic is on course, cap'n.

The two Frames slam each other a thunderous high five before jetting away into space.

**LATER ON THE PLANET GAEA (HOME OF OUR ADVENTUROUS CREW OF FINAL FANTASY VII)**

Costa del Sol. The sunny beach resort town everyone loves to vacation at. Today, however, the townsfolk are holed up in their cottages because Emerald Weapon is on its monthly rampage. Currently, Emerald is held up on the beach by our heroes: Cloud Strife, a former Shinra soldier; Tifa Lockheart, a busty martial artist trained under the master Zangan; Barret Wallace, a streetwise freedom fighter with a machine-gun arm; Cid Highwind, a trash talking mechanic and pilot with a mean craving for cigarettes; Yuffie Kisaragi, a young ninja punk with a penchant for pickpocketing; Vincent Valentine, a former member of the elite group, Turks, with a penchant for polymorphing; and the last person any of the aforementioned thought would fight alongside them. Sephiroth, the infamous destructor of the world (or Midgar, at least) with a pench--

**Voice #1:** Enough with the penchants! Ever since that whole Mario and the penchant for pasta line...

Sephiroth, also infamous for taking the life of Aerith Gainsborough, failed to stop her from casting Holy, inevitably keeping Meteor from--

**Voice #1:** Now you're reciting the entire story!

**Voice #2:** Fine. We'll just skip the character building process, the most important part of a story, and get right to the action. It's what everybody wants, after all.

**Barret:** When we gonna finish this thing off once 'n' for all?

As Barret soaks a blow from one of Emerald's shoulder gems, Sephiroth steps forward and holds Masamune erect.

**Sephiroth:** Hopefully now. It's taken nearly six years, but I'm finally able to perform my limit break.

The rest of the group look on in amazement as they wait for Sephiroth to unleash his power. Miles above, a distant object can be seen hurtling toward the ground.

**Yuffie:** It's Meteor all over again!

**Cloud:** M-m-m-meteor?

At the mention of the cause of the planet's near-destruction a year ago, Cloud collapses to the ground and assumes the fetal position.

**Cloud:** Meteor. Meteor. Meteor.

As the object falls closer, they realize it isn't Meteor, but a large and white sphere. Nearing impact, an audible screaming sound can be heard emanating from within shortly before crushing Emerald Weapon's head. The spheroid, charred from entering the atmosphere, rolls from atop its perch and falls into the sand.

**Cloud:** Meteor. Meteor. Meteor.

**Barret:** You got issues.

**Cid:** Damn. That wasn't quite what I expected, but hell of a job anyway.

**Sephiroth:** ... That wasn't my limit break.

The outline of a door makes itself known on the object and pops open amidst the release of various life support gases. Several roughed-up characters emerge from within and dust themselves off.

**Voice #1:** Come on, let's describe them and their life stories.

**Voice #2:** You're killing me here.

This motley crew hails from a different dimension, from the planet Earth to be precise. They are Goku, the Saiyan saviour of Earth and the strongest fighter in the universe; Vegeta, prince-turned-king of all Saiyans with the arrogance to match; Gohan, Goku's eldest son and first to press the boundaries of Super Saiyan; Trunks, the son of Vegeta and Bulma from the future, armed with Tapion's sword; Krillin, Goku's best friend and the weakest member of the group; and Piccolo, the disgruntled former demon king, mentor of young Gohan.

**Vegeta:** When we get back, I'm going to give that woman a piece of my mind!

**Trunks:** Father, it was a freak accident. Nobody could have predicted it.

While Trunks tries to reason with his stubborn father, Goku notices Cloud writhing on the ground.

**Goku:** Hey, what's up with him?

Piccolo extends an arm and vaporizes Cloud on the spot with a blast of ki.

**Piccolo:** Nothing.

**Goku:** Piccolo! I can't believe you did that! Now we have to go get the Dragonballs and wish him back to life!

Goku begins to fly away. Piccolo, never so much as twitching, lashes out with an arm and drags Goku back.

**Piccolo:** We're not doing any such thing.

Tifa, on the verge of tears, is comforted by Barret as Vincent prepares to cast Life on the particles of dust that used to be their comrade. Cloud's body materializes and he sits up, clearly dazed from the effect. Goku assumes a serious expression and stands in front of the Namekian, holding his index finger up for emphasis.

**Goku:** You're lucky that happened or I'd have gotten nasty.

Piccolo brushes Goku's arm aside and walks toward town.

**Piccolo:** Sure you would have.

Goku turns to the Gaeans and scratches the side of his head.

**Goku:** You'll have to excuse him. He isn't normally like this.

Piccolo stops and turns around, shouting back from the other end of town.

**Piccolo:** We're not normally in danger of dying, either!

**Vegeta:** We're always in danger of dying, you green meatbag!

**Piccolo:** Are you trying to start something, shorty!

**Vegeta:** Oh, it's on!

Vegeta flares up and dashes off toward Piccolo. The two begin fighting on the docks, much to the enjoyment of the townspeople, who had begun filtering out of their homes to examine the aftermath of the battle with Emerald Weapon.

**Sephiroth:** You're all psychotic. I rather like it.

Goku runs towards the fight and failingly attempts to break it up.

**Gohan:** Piccolo...

**Trunks:** Father...

**Krillin:** Hey, we need to figure out what we're going to do about this. The ship is ruined and none of us here know how to fix it up.

Cid steps forward with a huge grin on his face.

**Cid:** That's where you're wrong. Cid Highwind, expert mechanic and ace pilot. I could get that hunk of junk up and flying again in no time. If we could just haul it over to the villa, I could examine the extent of the damage.

**Gohan:** Oh, that's no problem.

Gohan motions to Trunks and they grab the ship and hoist it onto their shoulders.

**Trunks:** Where's this villa?

Cloud, who had just gotten to his feet, fell on his ass again. The others looked on, not knowing whether to be impressed or frightened at the display of strength before them.

**Cid:** Uh... right over... over here. Yeah.

Cid points toward Villa del Sol, home of the Gaeans since their worldly adventure. The building had undergone a few changes since then, most importantly Cid's own garage where he both stored the Tiny Bronco and spent most of his free time tinkering. Gohan and Trunks fly over to the garage, broken spaceship in tow, and set the wreckage down. Cid follows and begins to look over the ship.

**Cid:** Shit. This'll take at least a month, if not more. I hope you guys weren't planning on going anywhere soon.

Gohan and Trunks exchange glances, remembering the threat from their interstellar friend. The others follow Cid to the villa and begin talking amongst themselves.

**Tifa:** Where are you all from, by the way?

**Gohan:** The planet Earth. Since we hit a wormhole on our flight through space, I'm pretty sure we're not in the same galaxy.

Yuffie and Trunks catch each others' eyes and hastily look off to the side. Trunks turns to Tifa and Barret.

**Trunks:** We're going to need a place to stay. Do you know of anything available?

**Barret:** Sure! Ol' MacGregor runs the inn here. He'd put you up for a while. Owes us that much, at the least. Saved his scrawny ass more times than I can count from all those Weapon raids...

**Gohan:** Thanks. We'd really appreciate that.

A frowning Goku arrives dragging an unconscious Vegeta and Piccolo behind him.

**Goku:** Told you to stop, but you wouldn't. Threatened to hurt you, but you wouldn't. Now you're not getting dessert for a week.

He continues past the group, still mumbling, and goes into the inn. Tifa and Barret stare after him as Cloud finally wanders over to the group.

**Trunks:** Sorry. They've been rather disgruntled after the accident. Maybe we'll see you later.

**Cloud:** If you need pointers, we'd be glad to help.

Gohan and Trunks bid their goodbyes and follow their friends into the inn. Tifa and Barret rejoin the others. Cid is still musing over the wrecked spaceship.

**Cid:** The design is incredible. I need to implement this into the Highwind some day.

**Vincent:** Are you sure it will be compatible?

**Cid:** Who do you think you're talking to, pal?

While Cid gloats over himself, Barret rejoins him and Vincent.

**Barret:** Our new friends are gonna crash at the inn until this heap is fixed. And make it quick. They give me the willies.

He lowered his voice for the last part and looked over his shoulder toward the inn, where the Z Fighters were preparing to bed down for the night. Louis MacGregor, the elderly keeper of the inn who suffered from bad hearing, had never seen nor heard his "customers" enter. He was still cowering in the storage room, unaware that Emerald Weapon had been defeated nearly twenty minutes ago.

_Dragonball and Final Fantasy and their names, locations, and features are copyright their respective creators._


End file.
